Fairy tales do come true

I know i haven't written in a long time. ive went thru some pretty rough times, loosing my house, almost loosing my mind. i have disowned my "dad and step mom for reasons i may or may not write a bout in a future post. most of these ramblings are for me to clear my head really. but for starters, i have my own apartment with my son, i have a job at Walmart. i ride a bike to work 4 miles . great way to get in shape. i discovered that the man i thot was my best friend an man of my dreams really wasn't. it takes more love then i ever knew to be true love and most of all it takes someone to love you back. so i had stopped dating stopped looking, and then like a magical fairy tale, i found my true love. someone i have known since i was 12 or 13. my first love my first real boyfriend. i haven't seen or heard from him in 30 or so years, since his parents moved him away, but he has never been out of my thoughts and i never stopped loving him. and then one day about three months ago i found him on Facebook and well la we have been hitting it off ever since. He is the one, the best friend the loving man i have always wanted. and now my heart is so happy i can paint again! sadly with working i havnt had time, but the paintings and drawings and all the creative juices are flowing throughput me,a and when i get a chance to paint again, look out some master pieces will explode on paper. i am so happy, so in love!! i have found my Mr right, and funny thing is i knew him all along.  " fairy tales and dreams really do come true!! i love you t.c.e forever

A little taste of me now

I know i havnt wrote in quite awhile. Im happy to say that im back in love with art. Right now my priority is working on that relationship as well as my kid and getting my life together. Income taxes should help that get along faster. The college has been closed so i havnt been on the computer much. I will write again soon when i get back to the collegeore often as right now im still using a bicycle for transportation its cold and typing with one finger is too slow so later!!!

november,

i have so much to do, but thost id take a break to update. whats going on in my head. there are plenty of men out there trying to hook up with me, some are sleazy as they are married and think i wanna cyber sex or something,  i am flat out not interested in a relationship with any one other than friendship. i will not be involved with any man. i can not allow any man in my life because my number one priority is now and will be to be the best parent i can be, i do not trust any man and in no way wanna play house. i crave sex with only one person, i have a wonderful imangination, its vivid, i can relive a moment like it was the same moment again. seems a man runs away when they dont have to lasso and catch a mustang, they like the chase.. i survived a long time this way without a man, without dating, without any sex, but from myself, i can do it for a lifetime. god sends me the right man, but that man has to choose whether he wants me, but he has the key to my heart my soul and will forever be my bestfriend, my muse. my inspiration to live again,  really havnt told anyone. well i gotta type up some of my legal defense, i got court nov 29 on a cnc case, i m denying the charges of truancy, i did everything im supposed to do reguarding homeschool. part of me wants to just say okay, part of me wants to fight for my right and others to homeschool. in the mean time i gotta find an apartment, figure out what employer will hire me, and decide if i still wanta get my associate degree at college.  so i gotta lot to think about. this whole situation wasnt in my plans, but like i said sometimes destiny leads us in a diff direction than previously planned. gotta get some work done, i wasted an hour 

whats up real quick

real fast, baby is fine, taking  vitamins, feeling better. trying to decide whether to fight for my right to homeschool for the sake of all other parents who want to , rather then bow to the man, hard to decide cuz i am exaausted with a million things to do, doc appointmnts, trying to move into the homeless shelter, etc etc etc. life...............at least i know im not alone, thank you god, and love to my bff,, i am encouraged to keep going on, and of course my 14 yr old son, who is a godsend! i am defnitly trying to not give up hope, i just know thru all this storm, that the rainbow is coming soon!  if nothing else i know i have been blessed, im not angry at all the people who are suppose to be my family. this is some test or trial god has laid before me.  know im on the right path. my karma is good, and so all this bad thats been thrown at me just means that something wonderful is comiing, and whatever it is god, i trust you.    at least i know im not alone, thank you god, and  i say again...........love to my bff, !i am encouraged to keep going on, and of course my 14 yr old son, who is a godsend!

new turning point

well, this is the news. since my dad yelled at me and told me that the painting i painted for him on his birthday is the worst painting ever, and i explained that if he didnt like it he shuld have said something and that my feelings go into my paintings, and he screamed at me that i shuld get happy because its his 67 birthday. and he yelled at me that i shuld have a job and that i must have tried drugs since my last boyfriend made them, etc, i explained that i chose to saty with them cuz its safe and he is the only dad jay has, and that i dont do drugs, that my first husbabnd was abusive, and hes like why didnt i just hit him on the head with a frying pan, i told him he has turned into a cruel and evil man. i have done notheing wrong, but my step mother starts chiming in and when i looked a t her i can see that she is causing all this and i say the devil in her eyes, bu havnt spoke to my dad. since this all happened i have harly been able to sleep, and i havnt been with opie since he was in prison, in fact thats the only time i was with opie. i thot he knew all this, but i guess my stepmother makes sure she tells him bad things about me. thats why i have to get out of there. the other day my blankets were missing. my step mom had been in my room and took my blankets. she was probaly hoping i would say something, but i found it in the closet in the play room. ? oh ya i just found out my dad isnt poor and i forgot to tell u how much my dad gets a month. he gets 900 fro social security, 600 from firefighters retirmnt, 1000 fro the va, and 200 from the church, every month, and she gets 300 a month from social security. wow huh? any way who cares,it doesnt matter i have to get out of the toxic environment.

court sucks. if i am a homeschooling  then jacob has to be under court supervioson, have a probation officer, in fact he is on probabtion for truancy. jay decided he is sick of all this crap and agreed to go to the 8th grade middle school, over by 1400 and adams. the bus will pick him up.and  in 6 mos if he is good all this will end. jay says buearacy sucks. in reno county they are the law. i was prepared to fight for my right to homeschool my child, and prove that i am a good parent and teacher. but jay chose a diff path. i think it will be a good experience for him to be around other kids, make some new friends. it will definitly free up my time, so i can concentrate on just being a parent and not his teacher too, and have time to go to college myself or work on my art career or just go back to being a secretary and make some damn money, i want the best for him, and social skills arent something i can provide him,and they are so important. i told him if in two years or even in 6 mos he doesnt like the public shcool he can go to job corp, or online public school, or the learning center. this is so much of a relief for me, jays probation officer, or supervioson officer is pretty nice, i have so many appointments this week, i got so many things to do. but sunday is trick or treat! monday is when they announce the winners of the 25k!
love u talk to u soon, i know theres more but i will remember later!!

POTTS TRAILER

11th week of depression

today i had to take my kid to see his lawyer for court. went okay, they think he is truant but he is in homeschool. i was worried about what someone, probably my ex that doesnt want to pay child support tried to say im a bad mother etc. anyway we have to appear in court next week for the judge to decide if jay is truant or not. so i had a lot of worry for nothing. so sense its not about me or where i live, i guess i can go to some resource places to get some fricking clothes my son jay is having a hard time with men, so am i . i guess we have abandomnent issues. im working on trusting men. right now my top priority is jay well being! i dont care about anything else, cept family of course which does include my bff , family, of course. and art and music.excited , does that make sense. i also am very sensitive to the people closest to mes feelings and thots, even if they arent next to me. i aalso can smell smells 100 yards away, yet my nose feels stuffy.